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A Challenge  XML
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Tiina Jussila

Joined: 2002.12.02 00:00:00
Messages: 9

First I'd like to point out that I'm still not commenting on the funeral incident as I don't know enough about it to state any strong opinions.

But apparently this all started when women were offended by August's use of language and somehow Kristofer failed to address their concern. Which I think was not a minor detail keeping in mind that this event was mostly 'Daisy's thing'. I think her opinion should have been noticed.

But since the funeral I've been following this conversation closely, so I think I can state my opinion on that very clearly: everything has been going wrong since the start. Daisy's player was so offended (she has a right to her feelings, of course), that she made some remarks on Kristofer, which at least to me seemed pretty personal. Juha and Kristofer were apparently so put off by her tone that their responses had an equally unappropriate tone. And the women of course noticed that tone and found it arrogant (which it was). The vicious circle was ready: everyone was thinking that the other doesn't really listen to them and everyone was sure that the other is not even trying to understand. But I know the truth. The truth is that everyone here is listening and doing their best to understand.

So this is my challenge to us all: the next time you write something (anything) to do with the funeral or the discussion started by that, forget all the previous tones and expressions used which made you frustrated and willing to response in the same way. Forget the idea that the other won't get it anyway. Think that you are writing to someone who will surely get it, if you explain it. And if they don't get it straight away, try not to lose your patience.

I know that everybody taking part in this discussion (apart from myself maybe) are highly intelligent people. If you can't work it out no-one can. So come on everybody - restore my faith in humanity!

It's also good to keep in mind, that as everyone here is an intelligent individual, it's not in their nature to accept things simply because 'they are told so'. So if someone won't agree to what you are suggesting it doesn't necessarily mean that (s)he is not listening. You just need to explain it a little further. And as intelligent individuals we could also think that that's best for us all: we don't want a community full of empty heads who just do as they are told without questioning. Except if the command comes from Mark. He's the Creator and Boss here =).

Just cut the nasty remarks and I know we will be just fine.
Sascha Lecours

Joined: 2003.10.24 00:00:00
Messages: 446

Well Spoken.
Time heals all wounds, but especially when you apply a bandage.
Okay,so I'm bad at metaphors.
Sue me.
; )
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